Some Days Can be Hard

Overall I am loving it here. Sunshine, good food, beach trips, a grandma to take our little pierlinpino whenever we need, free rent, little work, lots of family time, new inspirations, becoming fluent in a foreign language. But character building doesn't come from sitting on the couch watching t.v., it comes from the struggles that life throws out. Some days can be a struggle.

I have a problem with dependence. I hate it. I need time alone, I need to do things my way, I need to feel like I have things under control. In Portland I knew how things worked. If I needed a plumber, I looked one up online and then asked for recommendations. If I had a question about Luca, I called my awesome pediatrician. If the phone rang, I would answer it. Marriage and parenting with someone is hard enough. Now Lorenzo is my crutches too.

We do surprisingly well; both working from home, taking care of Luca and spending time together. But there are days, when we both stubbornly think that what we want for Luca is what's best for him, when parenting discussions spiral into personal attacks. We try so hard to convince the other person why we're right and they're wrong, that we forget what we're really talking about. It's an interesting thing, trying to come to a middle ground in regards to parenting. I just assumed Lorenzo would have trusted my instincts and defaulted to my ideas. Before women's suffrage he would have let me decide everything. I guess this period is a period of men's suffrage. Now men get a vote.

Lorenzo has instincts too and strong ideas about parenting. That's why I love him, he cares, a lot. It doesn't always make things any easier though.

Everyday in a marriage you have the opportunity to learn and grow. As long as you recognize the opportunity to change and you don't let your stubbornness rule you. You HAVE to compromise, you have to find the middle ground and you have to have a short memory. You have to do it for that little person who can't speak up for themselves.