Sleep!

Sleep deprivation really takes a toll. It's incredible. Luca, just started sleeping through the night. The accumulation of seven months of sleep deprivation can make anyone moody. It's amazing how this little man can be a perfect angel during the day, not making as much as a single tear, while at night becoming a true Italian criminal. Sleep deprivation zaps your immune system, destroys any chance for creative thought, increases stress and sensitivity and can sometimes make one react with anger to things.

But then you get a good night's sleep and the world's possibilities open up to you. You remember who you are and the things you enjoy. You remember that those things still exist; that they didn't actually get sucked away into the black hole of parenthood. You remember that you love being a mom, that you love to play and make your little boy laugh. Because laughing makes everything better.

Yes, some days are hard, but some days are truly fun and inspiring. Last week I ventured out to meet some Americans for a wine tasting. I walked through Rome at night, all lit up, a bit of magic behind every corner. Rome's beauty is illuminated tenfold at night. I was alone, making my way through the narrow streets. I passed a group of American college students lugging backpacks to the nearest hostel, I dodged the lit cigarettes of old men talking passionately with their hands, I inched past a couple looking at a map. I walked past them all, remembering the streets to turn onto, recognizing the little restaurant that leads into Campo de Fiori, remembering that I live here.

No, I'm no longer the young, free traveler experiencing Italy for the first time. Stars in my eyes, waiting for traveler's kharma to lead me to some new place or new person or some crazy coincidental run-in that would make the whole trip worthwhile. But this life is still an adventure and this city still has a lot to teach me. And that night, at the wine tasting, the girl hosting it went to UC Santa Cruz, interesting coincidence...