I can't believe how fast I've reached the 35th week of this pregnancy. Two more weeks and I will have hit full-term. Pregnancy is so strange. It lasts for almost a year so you have get used to it and live everyday without focusing on it. Then you hit the third trimester and you wish it would slow down while you simultaneously hold your breath for it to end. It would be nice if I delivered a little early. I'm starting to get uncomfortable. Lots of abdominal pressure makes it hard to walk, hard to sleep/rollover, I can't wear shoes with laces anymore, tums sit next to the bed to nurse nightly heartburn, I've very tired and growing bored. I want to enjoy the summer, but it's getting hard to do much. And with these very hot days, if I'm outside I have to be in the shade and be sure not to get overheated. I can't really get out of town at this point, and hikes, bike rides and all the other active things I normally love to do, are pretty much out of the question. Plus I'm just so tired, did I mention that already?
Lorenzo is great at reminding me to slow down. In fact he reminded me that I need to be writing. I'm terrible at slowing down, but I really want to appreciate these last pregnant days. Our life plan doesn't include a number 3 which means this is it and I need to remember it and cherish it. I am one of the lucky women who handle pregnancy well. There are moments of discomfort, but overall, it comes easy. It makes me appreciate my body and feel happy that I've really tried to take care of it. It does however, still feel like work. If you haven't ever been pregnant, expect lots of changes and be ready for them. I have a hard time describing what it's like to be pregnant. It's so strange to watch your stomach moving in different directions, completely out of your control. And it's amazing that this little person is right there, just below the surface, growing inside of my body. She's a full baby, no longer a zygote or a multiplication of cells. She could be born tomorrow and she would be a little lady, fully formed, yet somehow she's still inside of my body, as a fully formed human, continuing to grow.
The biggest difference in this pregnancy is that I feel like I blend into the background more than with Luca. It sounds very needy to say this, but with Luca I felt like people were really looking out for me, protecting me and I liked it. Grocery store clerks always offered to help me out, people on the plane offered to put my bags in the overhead compartment, strangers went over of their way to let me go in front of them in line or to ask me about the pregnancy. None of that has happened this time. I think it might be because I forget that I'm pregnant and think that people don't think I look pregnant (funny now looking at that picture there's no mistaking it for a beer belly). It's just different. Lorenzo on the other hand is extremely protective of me, much more than he was with Luca. He is forcing me to sit down, he's doing everything around the house and reminding me not to work so much. He's been great, and to see how excited he is about this little girl's arrival, it's really sweet.
Pregnancy is a stepping stone, but being a mother of two, that's the real deal. The real test. Am I patient enough, wise enough, compassionate enough, loving enough to give my all to three other people? I believe I am. But like everything, I'll be challenged regularly in this new space. It's funny how you daydream about your life. I honestly didn't think I would become so domesticated, and Lorenzo, he never fit this profile. But here we are, about to complete our little nuclear family of 4, dog, house and car included. I struggle with that. But I am also so completely in love with Luca, he is so amazing, and I'm so proud of how Lorenzo and I have steered through these new waters together. Now I'm excited, scared, but excited about becoming a mother again. And then in a few months we'll work on breaking the domestication rules and we'll get adventurous again.
